Weblog

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

  • Fetish Of The Month - Boobzies

    Damn, searching around the Internet at night - as you do - I think I stumbled on a new fetish. I'm going to call in "beerboobphilia."

    This is when you simply have to have your hands on boobs at all times while drinking your beer.

    Of course, given that this is the Internet there is a company that can help you - Boobzie.

    They will provide you with busty "girls" to wrap around your beer can so that you don't have to take time off from feeling up tits just because you want to get your drink on.

    To make it as personal, sensual and erotic as possible they've even named the "girls" so that you can feel an intimate connection to them.

    For example here's Tiffany:



    For the full on fetish experience Tiffany is barely legal.

    She's headless so you won't have to worry about her talking back to you - but even if she did you could probably master the conversation since she "never lets school get in the way of her education."

    It's really a perfect way to satisfy your deepest, darkest beerboobphilia desires. Tiffany isn't a hard girl to love - after all she's "been in more laps than a napkin."

    Can't you just see yourself rubbing your hands up and down her breasts while you pour that cold beer down your throat? Stroking them gently and giving them a nice squeeze when you chug that last bit of suds.

    Imagine getting to know Tiffany over the course of the night. Exploring her curves. Letting your friends see you and get jealous as you start to have your way with her. A little bit of beer spills out of the top of your can and you notice Tiffany has started to get wet.

    All of the other girls at the bar will wish they were Tiffany. All the men will wish they were you.

    For years beerboobphiliacs had to hide in shame. They read specialized erotica but could not find any real outlet for their needs.

    Now, Tiffany is here and she's ready to go wild. You can out yourself as a beerboobphiliac with pride.

    You know Tiffany wants it and you know that she'll always come home with you at the end of the night. You don't even have to cook her breakfast.

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

  • Obama

    I bumped into the name at every corner now... even in Japan and China.
    Jeezus, they even have a town called Obama in Japan and Obama Fried Chicken outlets in China.
    My dog Shado wants his Obama fried (chicken) thighs. And soon.

Friday, 11 May 2012

  • The Cute Beatle

    "She was just 17, you know what I mean" - is totally an example of rape culture and how nasty the patriarchy can be, right?

    Because, it's not that he likes her because she's 17. He likes that she's 17 because it means he can totally rape/fuck/take advantage of her and she won't have the societal power to do anything about it.

    Otherwise what does "you know what I mean" - mean?

    And the fact that a man in his 60s still sings this song in concert is really fucking creepy, isn't it?

Thursday, 03 May 2012

Tuesday, 01 May 2012

  • Summer... not yet anyway

    It's not yet summer weather - it's really abnormally cold for early May - but my body's already switching to summer gears, as evident by dinner today being Special K Red Fruits. I live off of that in summer much as I live off of avocado, tahini and eggs in winter. (That, and milk.)

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

  • D'oh!

    Dude decides he won't got on a second date with a girl because she gave him head twice on the first date.

    If she had only blown him once he would have gone out with her again, but he thought getting head twice was "too much."

    Dude deserves to never get head again (and, hopefully, his afterlife will consist of being at an eternal Celine Dion concert where gay guys are constantly blowing each other and ignoring his dick.)

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

  • What's your label?

    We all know that members of Xanga.com are called Xangans. Here at Mancouch.com, we called ourselves Mancouchers.
    What about those from the other sites in the Xanga network? What do you call those in IReallyLikeFood.com? Foodies? I know members of Revelife.com called themselves Revelifers. Those in Datingish, Lovelyish, Autisable, Healthkicker and Momaroo websites -- what should we call them?

Monday, 16 April 2012

  • Couch



    Let's talk about couch.

    Describe how you couch looks like. Is it comfortable?
    New? Old? What is it made of?

    Mine is leather and in deep mahogany color. It's big and comfortable and can seat 3 large guys.

Saturday, 14 April 2012

  • Hooplah

    Big excitement around Chez. One of the condos caught fire. There are at least four fire trucks and three ambulances. People running everywhere. Gawkers. Word is nobody is hurt, but there is a lot of smoke. Makes me wonder why there are so many ambulances.

    In the midst of all this commotion is a newborn lake. The water vault must have burst when they used the hydrant, so there's water bursting out of the ground. Impressive, but messy and expensive to fix.

Monday, 09 April 2012

Saturday, 31 March 2012

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

  • Facebook Question

    Anyone know how the new Facebook Timeline works?

    Can I use it to go back in time and take credit for the Black Dahlia murder, the Zodiac killings, the Lindbergh kidnapping, JonBenet Ramsey and the JFK hit, or is it more limited than that?

    Because, honestly if I can take credit for all of that shit, I'll install the fucker now. Otherwise I don't see the point.

Monday, 12 March 2012

  • Be water

    There is no passage in any book that can prepare you for this. I want things to be normal, and to keep writing, and to keep going forward, and to have a semblance of normality come back into my life, and to keep on keeping on. I guess. There's nothing you can do except be fluid; be water; flow where it takes you; let it wash you.

Sunday, 11 March 2012

  • Toasted: Health Report

    A few weeks ago I switched my standard weekday breakfast from cereal to toast. The reason was actually pretty mundane. I found that if I ate cereal, I would sometimes have two or three bowls (each far larger than the recommend serving size), whereas if I have toast I have two slices of toast, period. I figured this was an easy way to reduce my caloric intake. I'm not actually terribly concerned about my weight (although it would be nice to reduce the pressure on my bad knee), but my last several rounds of blood tests have consistently shown that my fasting triglyceride level is way too damn high. Since I spent 2011 at the gym (150+ visits over the course of the year, and I was on vacation for several weeks), it was clear that some amount of dietary change was necessary.

    On the plus side, my other numbers have improved. Total cholesterol and bad cholesterol are now right where they need to be and dropping, which given how little meat and junk food I eat isn't really a huge surprise. The fasting blood sugar level has dropped quite a bit, although it's still a bit high. Only the good cholesterol number is really off by a lot, and that at least has improved significantly since the first test.

    Anyway, so I switched to toast to reduce calorie count and found that all of a sudden my breakfast was much more productive. My ridiculous new toaster oven (courtesy of the annual holiday gift from my employer) has a digital countdown on it, so I know exactly how long it will take my toast to finish. I typically spend that time doing productive things like putting away dishes, packing my lunch for work, going through my mail and the like. That was an unexpected side benefit.

    The other main dietary changes I'm making are pretty basic. The most difficult is forgoing the daily cup of free M&Ms I've eaten every day at work for the last several years, which is certainly not helping the blood sugar or triglycerides. And yes, the irony of my employer, which invests heavily in employee wellness programs, offering essentially unlimited free candy does not escape me. I only had M&Ms once this week, which is much better than the five times a week that was the previous norm. The mental breakthrough was the realization that my company has had free soda since the day I started, and I have a glass maybe once a month at absolute most. If I could control that, why not do the same for the M&Ms? I just have to reform the habit, which obviously isn't easy, but it's just sugar, not nicotine or something.

    An easier change is adding even more vegetables to my diet. I've been bringing a spinach salad to work for lunch every day for years (along with the leftovers du jour), and I use vegetables as ingredients when preparing dinner, but I wasn't really making vegetable-centric side dishes for dinner. So the last few weeks I've been buying more vegetables for dinner; this week I had broccoli, peas, spinach and Brussels Sprouts on the four nights I cooked. When you throw in the 5+ pieces of fruit I routinely have in a day, I'm in danger of turning green

    The last thing I did was alter my cardio-centric workout to something centered around throwing large pieces of metal around. I'd been avoiding squat presses for a year because of my knee, but I finally said screw it and went all in on that exercise. So far both my knee and my back haven't complained a bit about that or the other exercises. It's weird. Heavy cardio makes me feel tired (in a good way, but still tired) but the testosterone buzz from serious weight lifting makes my brain kick into hyperdrive. Anyway, weight lifting is supposed to decrease blood sugar levels by making your metabolism burn sugar faster, so hopefully that'll help too. It's kind of funny, but when I said I needed a health goal to motivate me to work out, it never occurred to me that improving test numbers would cut it. How about that?

Thursday, 01 March 2012

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Thursday, 02 February 2012